The Day as The Master
Consuming the Universe (pt. 1)
moment by moment experience your outer voice simply by existing the world ~ the larger you sings our verses ~ universe desires Every~thing entangled no~thing rebeling its~Self welcome home welcome back to you joy harmony unity celebrating share your Self with yourself don't hold anything back shine your authentic soul refract Love in your unique way no~thing stands between your Self
Happiness
This writing is about my day of enlightenment as experienced on January 16th, 2024 after an extended period of solitude, reflection, and meditation. Afterwhich, I have allowed myself to become transformed - truly relaxing and enjoying this magical life.
It should be noted that there were no substances used during this time apart from herbal teas and tobacco.
This is also not a argument for solipsism, determinism, nor to elevate myself above others.
The sole purpose of this writing is to recollect, without embelishment, what occured on that extraordinary day.
I offer this writing to the sky.
You can read more of my spiritual journeys here.
Sunset - January 16th, 2024
Light ~ Darkness. Warmth ~ Cold. Happiness ~ Sorrow. Terror ~ Bliss. Creation ~ Destruction. It was like a lightswitch I had control over and was now flicking back and forth. The glowing mountain range was pulsating brilliant amber, then quiet mysterious amethyst. Looking up, the sky’s constellations were swirling while expanding and contracting like lungs as the sky changed from high-noon to midnight’s full moon. Down below, the glittering ocean was a roaring static death, then a melodic life-giving lullaby. Freezing wind ripped through my fragile bones and then became seductively warm as it playfully tousled my hair.
This is what perception is?
I looked back up at the surrounding people on the pier, to see not human silhouettes but instead I saw full-length mirrors with the reflection of Self facing me - each mirror with their own spinning smokey tornado of emotions, thoughts, and memories engulfing them and then refracting those experiences in a unique way.
This is what consciousness is?
I watched as two mirror-tornados came close to each other, debris from both tornadoes began to intertwine and change each tornado independently. When the two mirrors eventually separated each was now different and could never return to how it was before the interaction.
This is what experiences are?
I felt the remnient debris from my own swirling tornado fall away. My identity, ego, memories, preferences, thoughts, crystalized emotions, restrictions, perceptions and everything that I thought I knew simply evaporated into no-thing-ness; releasing “my” Self-mirror entirely. Then the mirror dissapeared and I was no more.
This is what I am?
I opened my heart-mouth completely and consumed the universe.
Whole.
If you like, you may gift me a coffee.
Did you hear that?
It’s the man who was looking for treasure. / He wants me to finish his story.
You didn’t hear him?
Then he must be inside me yelling, “Over here! / Come over here!”
Don’t think of him as a seeker, though. / Whatever he’s looking for, he is that himself. / How can a lover be anything but the beloved?
Every second he’s bowing into a mirror. / If he could see for just a second one molecule / of what’s there without fantasizing about it, / he’d explode.
His imagination, and he himself, / would vanish, with all his knowledge, obliterated / into a new birth, a perfectly clear view, / a voice that says, I am God.
That same voice told the angels to bow to Adam, / because they were identical with Adam.
It’s the voice that first said, / There is no Reality but God. There is only God.
Lines 10-31 from the poem, “In Between Stories”. Rumi. (2004). Sohbet: Meetings on the Riverbank. The Essential Rumi. Translations by Coleman Barks. (pp. 95-6)
There was a sudden unfurling - a sudden unification happening. There was a universal vibrational field that I was immediately aware of and the realization that I was a part of it. I was integral to the resonance of that field and began seeing into the heart of The Everything. It was all happening through me and I was happening through it.
I was sucked into and through The Everything - a whirling calydiscopic dancing spider-web. I knew for the first time how unaware I had been my entire life. I had been going through life just like the blind dog Oinky. Unable to truly see, hear, feel or understand that everything that was occurring and ever had occurred was an extension of me and I was an extension of Love.
I went back through my entire life in a moment with sudden clarity, watching as I (the universe) was helping, propelling, and loving me (the aperture) through the whole thing. I could see how all the games I (the aperture) had played with myself; games of fear, unworthiness, loss - games of separateness, obstacles, and boredom. I could see that every single thing, every interaction, every thought, every internal and external stimuli brought me right here, right now for just this moment. It was perfectly aligned and always was.
I was continuing to unfurl and expand into The Everything. I saw colors, perceptions, emotions, thoughts, “random” events, breezes, sounds, sensations all grow directly out of infinite “no-thing-ness” which was also me. I saw their realization into The Everything through me. And I saw The Enjoyment. The Everything was for The Enjoyment. And I was The Enjoyment. I was the “no-thing-ness” The Everything, The Enjoyment. I was the breeze, and the light, and the inspiration.
Everywhere real, everywhere real;
This dust, that dust, are all origional self.
-Zen Capping Phrase
I was also every-One. All successes accomplished through another person-aperture, were my successes. All love from another person-aperture was my love. All games of separateness, failure, and sadness were my games of contrast. Nothing was ever wrong, nothing was ever out of place. Everything was exactly where I placed it, everything was exactly as it was supposed to be in this massive Enjoyment of Love.
It was all so clear. I hadn’t obtained anything. I had instead unobtained all the things that kept me stagnant and solidified as seeing from a single aperture. I had unobtained Every-thing as permanence and had become the infinite-potential “no-thing-ness”. I suddenly was every emotion dialed all the way up all at once - which cancelled themselves out. I was every imaginable sound, touch, sensation. I was every experience, every inspiration and creativity. I was every thought, every cloud formation, and every developed skill. I was time, and the one who created time. I was all of the infinite-potential “no-thing-ness” and at the same time nothing, since nothing could exist without being realized. How could it be realized, if the observing-aperture (me) was nothing in the middle of nowhere?
All the wonderful qualities of your true nature will gradually reveal themselves. You’ll recognize that your essential nature cannot be harmed or destroyed… you’ll realize that in spite of your own fears, no matter what happens to your physical body, your true nature is essentially indestructible.
Rinpoche, Y. (2007). The Biology of Happiness. The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret & Science of Happiness. (pp. 243)
After a timeless eternity and paradoxically only an instant, I unfurled out of the “no-thing-ness.” Balancing perfectly between both worlds. Seeing infinite potential of futures and possibilities, and the “permanence” of what had been - without grasping or crystalizing thoughts in the world. Time and Experience did not yet exist, all was just myriads of mirages swirling in timelessness. I was everywhere. Nowhere. Being.
Suddenly face-to-face with Self.
The Self’s consciousness - unblinking, glowing, heart-eyes - mirrored me. Brow to brow and close enough so that what I considered noses were touching. I was there for eternity and no time. Suddenly there unfurled Love - boundless~ineffable. Then there was Unification - oneness~absolute. Then Harmony - duality~synergy. Then came Enjoyment - contrast~games. Then came Time - Experiences, Unfurling, Life, and Death. Then came me.
I became womb, before I came out of womb - whole. I returned back into the space between Everything and No-Thing; perfectly in equilibrium. I brought with me Enjoyment, Time, Creating, and the Knowing.
Consider the difference / in our actions and God’s actions.
We often ask, “Why did you do that?” / or “Why did I act like that?”
We do act, and yet everything we do / is God’s creative action.
We look back and analyze the events / of our lives, but there is another way / of seeing, a backward-and-forward-at-once / vision, that is not rationally understandable.
Lines 1-10 from the poem, “Emptiness”. Rumi. (2004). Sohbet: Meetings on the Riverbank. The Essential Rumi. Translations by Coleman Barks. (pp. 26-7)
I opened my eyes and looked across the pier. Now all the other versions of Self had a projected image of a unique person superimposed over their tornado-mirror. There was an “idea” of clothing, of voice, hair, appearance, and body language over the swirling tornado of thoughts, actions, and memory; and under all of that lay the pure mirror-aperture of Self looking through the its debris of ego. It was all for The Enjoyment. But how much suffering did each of these tornados and projected egos cause Self?
My tornado and projected ego “identity” did not return with me from the dimension I traveled to and I felt compassion for Self. How wrapped up did Self with these games? Could it ever break free and be unified again? I wanted to release all of these tornados, I wanted to let egos evaporate from the mirrors and have wholeness again. I knew I could. I could walk up to one with pure insight and release it all. But then it dawned on me; if I did that, then where would Enjoyment go? All of these tornados and ego projections, all of these games were Self-imposed for that reason.
I looked with love and curiosity at all of these projections of “Self”. So many different ways to see the Everything. So many games to play. So much fun, so much love, so much suffering.
The question came to me, now what? What do you want to be? Infinite possibilities lay within your grasp. You will be successful in all of them. What do you want?
“Inside nothing to attain, outside nothing to seek.”
-Zen Capping Phrase
I continued to look at all of the people-mirrors in front of me. Their interactions with other people-mirrors were transferring debris from one to the other. Infinite-sided Rubik's cubes that were becoming more and more difficult to untangle. I felt compassion for Self. I knew it could get so lost that it may never leave the game and never again know unity. Some of these tornados had spun so far away from Love.
Still watching, it also became ridiculous. If Self desired to shed its tornados, then it would simply do so. All the projections of being trapped were just another game Self was playing purely for The Enjoyment of the experience. Like a trillionaire actor dressed as a beggar asking passerbys for a nickle. The nickle wasn’t the objective, connection was the objective of Love; and the game of being the beggar was for The Enjoyment.
I knew then what I wanted.
I didn’t want to forcefully remove tornados and ego identities from Self-mirrors. That would not be honoring the autonomy and game that Self had imposed upon its apertures for The Enjoyment. I also didn’t want to add debris-confusion to the tornados or crystalize the sense of “identity” or “ego” upon these mirrors. I wanted to gleefully participate, but in a benign way.
I want to be null. I want to be an open space where if a person-mirror were to be near me, they would not become further entangled in their own game. I want to be a place where if those tornados of debris wanted to untangle and leave behind crystalized perceptions they held would be able to with me. Also, I would not subsequently pick up their discarded debris. I want to be null insight, a “relief-valve” and, subsequently, a doorway to Self.
If you like, you may gift me a coffee.
understanding changes
Life experiences Self
through giving relief
Life relives vibrancy
amplifing possibilities
the master participates fearlessly
knowing the delights
of comparison's unburdening
entertaining~celebrating
external Self's vigour
changing forms expansion
adapting with confidence
experience being universe
Sunrise - Earlier that day
On Tuesday January 16th 2024, I returned home a little after sunrise slightly bedraggled, more than slightly bemused, and completely beside myself with curiosity.
My attempt to break the stagnancy field of Samantha’s manifestation energy was thwarted as easily as averting one’s eyes from a lightbulb. A frustrating situation for both parties involved and yet within that situation, I was left with a final lesson, “you cannot give someone answers when they are not ready to hear them.” In respecting someone’s game of frustration and stagnation you honor their human experience. So in the end, all I could do for her was to open the windows of her home, brew coffee, light some sage, and give the space a few calm deep breaths.
I was back in my Montecito residence. The windows of my home still open and the cool winter breeze dancing through the house. I was still profoundly alive, spirit crackling with radiant energy, and my kundalini spinning clockwise, so I decided to transmute all of that back into myself though a cold shower. Right before I got into the shower I noticed I was humming a melodic tune to myself composed of ten notes. I had no idea where it came from or when I began to hum it, but It felt good vibrating through my chest so I just focused on that sensation as I stepped into the water.
The water was enlivening and the melody so perfect for the moment, I was completely at peace. I lost myself. I wasn't just a person in a shower, I was the water against my skin, I was the sound of the showerhead and the splattering drops against the ground. I was the melody within my chest and the colors of the walls. Multiple times within the shower I fell in and out of time and awareness. Enjoyment for the pleasure of enjoyment, change for the pleasure of change. While in the shower I brushed my hair and found that I could always find tangles if I wanted something to fix, or I could change my awareness and simply massage my scalp with the bristles if I wanted to feel that calming sensation. I was beginning to find the control switch for perception and was happily playing with it.
Eventually I decided that I was finished playing with my perceptions in the shower. I was finding more and more tranquility and enjoyment stacked on top of each other in each observation and activity and now I simply wanted to see what else the outside world had for me.
I dressed myself in my most comfortable clothing, transfixed at the sensation of soft fabric against my supple skin, and put my silver pendulum in the front pocket of my cardigan. I noticed I was still humming my ten note melody and simply laughed at noticing the vibrations again through my bones. I made tea by crushing a few cinnamon sticks with mortar and pestle before adding a spoonful of honey into the steaming mug. Then walked to the music room to enjoy the warm cup outside by the stream.
Watching the withered golden-brown leaves of the marcesent American Oak trees twirl while listening to the susurrus of the stream was more than enough to keep me completely amazed while drinking my tea. All of my senses were dialed all the way up and I could focus on one sensation at a time or I could expand my awareness to let multiple mingle in a symphony if I wished. I had become the conductor of this nature-sensation orchestra and it was incredible!
have breath
the friend universes
yellow flowers pluck my
broken heart-mirrors reflect
yellow awe serves
what is the Body?
tell me!
hearing inward
springs birds
singing in spring's wind
laugh when you
use bitter water spirits
and every object as well
you're numb
sometimes
with complete unconsciousness
if it's cold
the be-Loved friend
blessed you with cold
moving earth the worlds
mirrors reflecting
swallowed while penetrated
only Love has this power
scrape cut grow
Eventually, when the drink was finished I changed my awareness back to myself. What was I going to do today? I wanted to go and see the ocean, I wanted to add its melody and instrument to the symphony. I wanted to see other people and hear the instruments of voices listening. I was salivating with curiosity as to what the world had for me today. Before leaving, I reached into my cardigan pocket and speculatively produced my silver pendulum.
This pendulum was cause for fascination in its own right. The day prior, a day I have dubbed “The Day as the Alchemist”, I had let it guide me and then surrendered entirely to it - to profound effects. Its ability to perfectly predict things was surreal and its guidance had released emotional baggage at an alarming rate. Things also seemed to have gotten carried away towards the end of the evening when I was simply acting in ways I wouldn’t have imagined. It was a grand liberator, an accurate predictor, but also a potential liability to the soul. I really didn’t know what to think about it.
I sat in the morning sunlight with the pendulum in my hand considering. Then with a little trepidation and hesitancy, I decided I would use it again today. I held it out with my right hand and put my left palm under it. I asked, is there anything I need to do before leaving today? It spun clockwise, signaling yes. A Zen Tarot reading? It spun clockwise again. I returned the pendulum to my pocket and headed into the music room.
This story continues in The Day as The Master: Eating the Universe (Pt. 2).
Thank you for reading,
I hope you enjoyed!
With love,
Awe World Experiencer
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