Problems and Helpers
NOTE TO THE READER:
This was written a couple of years ago, but simply wasn’t distributed. Today I am allowing myself to publish this article in its original form. All this to say, my current style of writing has evolved. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!
There can be trouble that occurs when one attempts to forcefully help another:
‘“Let me help you” said the monkey as he kindly took the fish out of water and gently placed him in the tree.’
First, we all are having our own experiences, good, bad, deep, shallow, profound, mundane, exciting, and all the rest. As such, we are each journeyers of our own experience, we all need something different based on our circumstance. Therefore, there is no panacea to give out.
A solution for one person is not necessarily a solution for another. If you “require” a teacher to hit you with a spoon each time you make a mistake in order for you to learn, then you had better find a teacher with a spoon who is not afraid to wield it. However, just because the spoon-wielding-teacher is what you needed to learn a lesson doesn’t mean that that other experiencers in life “require” that style of teaching. Also, as you grow in life, perhaps you outgrow the spoon-wielding-teacher.
Sometimes you can find this coercion with religious folks. If the answer for them is religion, awesome! That is fantastic! To suggest that someone else may benefit from religion is also a fair idea. But to force, coerce, or otherwise convince someone else to follow this trend can be detrimental to the other party’s ability to follow their own questions to their own answers.
Even though there may be different styles of truths, I would argue that one does not reign supreme over another. A personal truth and a universal truth could have the same merit. Depending on the human’s current experience and their circumstance. A can opener is useful to open cans, but less useful for opening a bottle of wine. Allow life to move and flow as it intends and encounter tools along the way to open the nuggets of truth that you find while in the moment.
So trying to get everyone that you meet to use the can opener for all manners of situations is a potential downfall for them and even for the “do-gooder”. I even know some people who would prefer to use a knife to open a can instead of a can opener. Are they wrong? They’ve found their own truth, and have a unique skill to boot! Allow and let to allow. Suggestions, encouragement, and inspiration are all fair ways to assist when someone is asking for assistance. However, sometimes the best style of practice and the best way to assist is to simply act as you will. Inspiration can hit other people if they so wish. If you see someone struggling with their proverbial can, maybe by using your own can opener to open a can of your own may show them the way. In the end however, if the human’s desire is strong enough to open the can, then it will be opened - can opener or not. Perhaps they will smash the can upon the ground, use a style of leverage, a knife, ask a friend, or who knows what to find a solution to their own problem. There is no panacea. Feel it out.
This is not to say that you must simply abandon people to their own problems. If you feel the need to help, do so. There is no right and wrong. There is no answer these words can give to you. Understand that whatever course of action you choose is the correct route for that moment in time. There is no way to re-do any action, so everything that had transpired has already done so, why waste time and energy living in the past. Let it all be. Everything led you to this point.
In the end, this leads back to the games that we all play. If I say, that the butter is too hard for me to cut, then I will not cut the butter. Perhaps, you would like to play the butter cutting game. Is it truly too hard to cut? Maybe there are further games to play there. The game of: am I stronger than you? Am I more determined than you? Am I smarter than you (maybe i could warm up the butter and then cut it. Maybe I will sharpen the knife and then try.) There are many ways to go about it, but the important part is that the game creator is the one who has set their own rules. If something in life is too difficult to cope with, then it is. Why? Because you’ve decided that it is. The solution that you need, is whatever you decide you need. Go out, find your own solutions. Grow and be well!
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