Honoring vs. Exalting Oneself

Self-Reflection and Questions

Jul 25, 2026

“Thirst drove me down to the water
where I drank the moon’s reflection.
Now I am a lion staring up totally
lost in love with the thing itself.”

- lines 5-8; Burnt Kabob, Rumi

Good day! I want to spend a moment considering the difference between exalting and honoring ourselves- how can we tell the difference, and what actually becomes our nourishment. I tend to take an unorthodox path when it comes to living, interacting, walking, and even dressing myself. However, I do so as a way to honor myself, not because I must be different but because I’ve looked inside and discovered what I needed.

I hope you enjoy the writing.

With all my love and gratitude,

Awe World Experiencer.

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“Dance, when you’re broken open.
Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off.
Dance in the middle of fighting.
Dance in your blood.
Dance, when you’re completely free.”

- Dance, Rumi

Considering our human experience, there seems to be a desire to exalt ourselves in cultural society. The idea that hierarchy is the norm. That there is a better and a worse. That there are pedestals to achieve and heights to reach. The reasoning behind hierarchy is for the desire to have a right and wrong, to have a correct or a better way placed against a lesser version. You might see this in religions, rank, professions, even the way we categorize emotions, thoughts, seasons, and the like.

I want to take a moment and just look at things from a non-hierarchy stance, a non-exalting stance. I want to take a moment to consider the question.

“Can you honor yourself without exalting yourself?” and if so, “How does that look?”

Before we get into that, let’s take a look at what it means to exalt oneself and what it means to honor oneself.

Per Merriam Webster, to exalt is to “raise in rank, power, or character.” Also, “to elevate by praise or in estimation.” What this requires is a secondary status or situation in which to improve upon or in which to compare. It also can require a secondary party to praise or approve of what is being done.

This is how most of society seems to be structured. Are you doing something that can be quantified? And if so, how does it compare to someone or something else? Why we do this is based on a desire to have less authority over our lives, by subjugating ourselves to the will and approval of others. This seems contradictory, as the idea of raising in “rank” is to be able to have “more authority” over ourselves. However, the true authority is always based inside. All of these pieces that we add are simply to delay the inevitable of having utter authority over your own life—without comparison, without rank, without approval or lack thereof.

To honor oneself allows you to move in the direction of true understanding of self. True understanding of preferences, and the true desire to be the unique and sui generis you that gets to inhabit this planet and this reality. It has nothing to do with others, and it has everything to do with your own heart and your own truths.

“I can explain this, but it would break
The glass cover on your heart,
And there’s no fixing that.”

- lines 15-17; Enough Words, Rumi

How do people exalt themselves? Think about status for a moment and the way people chase this. I had friends who were always concerned with achieving a mark that would announce to the world that they had arrived. “Once I get a Rolex I’ll be complete.” What is that saying, and why is that an objective of life? All watches tell time, some hold value for their materials, all are beautiful, but what is it about a “Rolex” that gets people in a fuss? What is it about the “Cadillac Margarita” that made people want to drink that beverage over a ‘generic’ margarita? Did they even know the extra ingredient? And how the libation was dreamt up and created?

When I was applying for a job long ago, I sat down with one of the masterminds behind the Cadillac Margarita. Here’s what he said to me:

“We had to make ourselves different from others. All margaritas were the same and there was no “pull” for clients to go from one Mexican restaurant to ours, so we decided to give our drinks “status.”

What does a Cadillac mean to 1960’s American audiences? It means status. It means that you’ve made it. It means that others look up to you.

“We made the Cadillac accessible to everyone. For the price of $20 you could have that “feeling” of “making it.” You could even just say, “I’ll take a Cadillac” and the bartender would know what you wanted.”

And just like other things that exalt for simple status, these novelty drinks briefly intoxicated the consumer, then were depleted without any lasting effect.

“Drumsound rises on the air,
It’s throb, my heart.

A voice inside the beat says,
“I know you’re tired,
but come, this is the way.”

- Rumi

To understand the difference between these two paths, we must look at how we choose to clothe ourselves, both literally and figuratively.

I used to have many beautiful leather shoes, polished to a mirror sheen. They looked great and were completely uncomfortable and impractical. For who were they for? What were they for? I would argue, if they were not comfortable and they were on my feet, then they were not for me. They were for other people to gawk at. My self-esteem was tied (pun intended) in that regard to those shoes. And I had many things that were similar to that in my life—things that were not actually for me, but were for the appearance. Watches, vehicles, clothing, electronics, etc.

There is the opposite of that too. Very comfortable sweaters with stains and holes in them. They might have been comfortable, but I did not feel beautiful in them. How do you find that beautiful balance of comfort, beauty, authenticity, and devotion to yourself through honor?

Obviously, I cannot give you the answer that fits you. I can pose the question. But if I were to say that “a saffron colored robe” is the answer to your troubles I just sold you on an idea. I just took away your authority to make your own decisions. I just “matadored” your heart for another novelty to impress me, not honor you.

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“I honor those who try
To rid themselves of any lying,
Who empty the self
And have only clear being there.”

- Rumi

These things take a little time and self-reflection. Can you sit with yourself and understand what you actually require? Can you take that time away from the constant approval/disapproval of others for those moments of genuine reflection?

When doing so, the next question that can come up is, “how are you with handling fear?” And to whom is this emotion of fear for? Is it actually for you or is it to conform to societal fear?

This often brings up the fear of “disappointing others.” Are you ok disappointing others in order to truly honor yourself? The world may have become accustomed to the way you are now, can you honor yourself and break free of that?

What does it actually look like?

“When the ocean is searching for you, don’t walk
to the language-river. Listen to the ocean,
and bring your talky business
to an end.”

- lines 5-8; Send the Chaperones Away - Rumi

I suppose I have just asked a lot of questions and maybe that’s the point. I’m not here to give answers.

For me, I had to get used to “upsetting” the way that others had grown to receive and perceive me. I had to find out ways to actually sit with the stillness and my own realness. I had to allow for the disappointment to come and go through others as I found ways to honor myself in this life.

I no longer wear uncomfortable shoes. In fact, I no longer wear anything that is uncomfortable in the slightest. I no longer act and speak in order to please or in order to harmonize with the world around me. I had to develop the internal guidance and honor to be able to be complete—allowing the world the opportunity to harmonize around me, my words, my actions, and not the other way around. In this way I honor myself. In this way I show up as who I am, transparently, truthfully, patiently, and lovingly.

This is not to say that I have discarded the entire world and formed a narcissistic viewpoint of myself and how I interact with others. My viewpoint on myself is that of a gentle and excitable best friend—of course I want what is ‘best’ for me, and in that way I look at others and hope that they are developing what is ‘best’ for them. I certainly do not want to tell others what is best for them either, that again has never been the purpose, the purpose is to hopefully inspire someone to look inside and truly discover who they are and what it is they would like in this life—then if needed, inspire unbridled confidence to make it happen.

I am also not exalting myself above others. If someone is happy in the way they are, I am not telling them that they are wrong and I am right. Instead I am simply offering my viewpoint for consideration. There is no panacea. There is just life, living, and creating more beauty around itself for itself.

I honor my heart and my body that transports it through this beautiful existence.

“I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I’ve been knocking from the inside!”

- Rumi

Moving inward from our physical choices to our emotional landscape, we must ask: What does it mean to honor an emotion?

It means to let it play out and sit with it. It is not to convince yourself that an emotion is wrong. It can mean acknowledgement of a mental, or emotional state and feeling it without judgement or desire to “fix it.” Attention, compassion, patience.

In the same way you honor your body by understanding what is comfortable and not. You don’t try and convince yourself that something is comfortable when it clearly isn’t, you can make changes so that you live in the best state possible.

If you notice for example, “wow, peanuts give my body an allergic reaction” then perhaps you abstain from peanuts when possible because you honor that in yourself. You don’t try to ‘fix your body’ for having allergic reactions, you don’t try to convince everyone around you that peanuts are bad, and you don’t gloat that you have ‘given up peanuts’ to your friends and family for approval. You simply honor yourself and do what is right for you.

If you notice that you get brain fog when you skip breakfast, perhaps you honor yourself by making sure you eat breakfast.
If you notice, “wow, when I hang out with these people I notice I act in a way I do not like,” perhaps you will change your behavior or stop spending time with those people.

Honor yourself through attention, observation, understanding, and commitment to yourself to live the best life you can.

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Thank you for reading,

I hope you enjoyed!

With love and gratitude,

Awe World Experiencer